gluten free familyA mum's blog about gluten-free living in Australia

You’re probably realising by now that when it comes to your child’s diet there are a whole load of experts out there – and none of them is your paediatrician.

Schools, daycare centres, well meaning relatives, family friends – they all have strong opinions about what you should be feeding your child. Add food intolerances or coeliac disease into the equation and you will suddenly find that the whole world knows better than you (and your dietician/doctor) about what is good for your child.

Part of the problem is the perception that food intolerances are just a growing fad. You can almost see those start eyes rolling when you mention gluten intolerance to some carers/educators, and some relatives can take the whole issue even more personally. They may either try to tackle you on head on and talk you out of your foolishness – or subtely undermine your efforts by slipping prohibited foods to your child.

This of course can jeopardise the health of your child – and with severe intolerance or coeliac disease – this is really a dangerous situation. Its also very hard to deal with if the very person or organisation you are relying on, is letting down you and your child when you are not around to prevent it.

Of course its not always wilful. I was convinced my child was regulary eating gluten at daycare – in spite of me carefully preparing all of his meals – because his symptoms kept showing up after his two days at daycare (it was the screaming fits and poor sleep that gave it way). It took several months for me to realise he had been enjoying the centre’s playdough just a little too much (YUMMY!). Thankfully the centre changed its playdough recipe to gluten free – which solved the problem entirely.

But we still had problems when the regular staff were away – or new staff appeared on the scene.

Few people realise that with gluten, just a minor infraction can bring a whole lot of misery and discomfort to those with strong reactions, so its really important to get everyone on board and committed to your child’s new diet. Here are a few of our ideas- but as ever we would love to get some of your suggestions too.

Note from the doctor
There’s nothing like an official letter from your doctor (or dietician) to help persuade people your child MUST eat a restricted diet. I would say this is a fairly crucial piece of paper if you are going to send your child to a daycare centre and we also supplied some background notes on gluten intolerance and our child’s worrying medical history – just to drive the point home. When people know your history, they are less likely to write you off as a fad dieter.

You will still need to police the diet on behalf of your child. Everytime a new staff member joins, be sure you mention it to them and point your child out. You should also ask the manager to put a sign on the wall and food trolleys with a picture of your child explaining what they can and can’t eat to ensure temps and casuals don’t miss this very important information (our centre was very obliging on this point).

Visit to the doctor
If your carer is a relative and they are having trouble getting their head around your new regime (or you strongly suspect they cheat in your absence) then you will need to secure their committment. A doctor’s letter may not be enough in this case (depending on how resistant they are) – but as they are an important part of your child’s life, why not take them along to see your doctor.  It may seem extreme, but if your child has been diagnosed with a serious food intolerance, then every primary carer really needs to be on board – and I think you are well within your rights to ask them to meet with your child’s doctor to ensure everyone is on “the same page”  when it comes to the welfare of the child.

Supply your own meals
If it is not practical to drag them along to doctor’s appointments, then try the more subtle approach of supplying all your own food. It should be pretty obvious if they have fed the child something else – because some of your little snack pots will still be full (unless they are super duper devious and tip them out – in which case you may have to rethink whether you can place your trust in this person).

In the case of daycare, I think supplying at least some of the meals is a good idea. Firstly it means you can match the meals the rest of the centre is getting with a gluten free equivalent – so your child doesn’t feel excluded. And unless you don’t mind your child eating rice crackers and fruit four times a day- it also means they are more likely to get something you know they will actually enjoy. The stuff you can’t recreate can be substituted for other things you know they will enjoy.

Find some compromises
A lot of people (especially those that love your child) resist dietary regimes either out of sheer ignorace or because they are worried they wont be able to hand out those yummy treats that they think will endear the child to them. To address this, find out what sort of thing they really want to feed your child, and then come up with some acceptable compromises. If you can, take them shopping with you so you can go through the different gluten free options on the market (this will also help to educate them on the diet) and it also means they can stock up on a few delicious  (and pre-approved) treats that they can just pull out of the cupboard when the moment seems right.

Let it all hang out
If none of these other strategies have worked then you really do have your work cut out for you.  Your last resort is to try being really open with your problem relative. To do this, enlist the help of the person who is the closest blood relative because they are far more likely to be forgiven if hard truths need to be faced. Just say what has to be said in the kindest way possible and then ask them to help you come up with some solutions. This will give them a chance to air their views – which is always a good start when someone is in denial about something as important as your child.

Stealth campaign
Or if you just can’t bear the direct approach then try enlisting sympathetic members of the family to help out. If they are not brave enough to appoach the stubborn party directly – they may at the very least police whether your wishes are being taken seriously when you are not in the room so you can decide whether you are able to continue asking them to care for your child.

Any other suggested strategies would be gratefully accepted here!

LH

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